My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
