your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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