I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
