"it" just moved
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
