Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
