We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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