my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
