Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
