I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
