If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
