Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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