I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
