apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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