You're completely useless in the revolution.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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