"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
