Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We left the knife in your bed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
