Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
