the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we should paint friendship bongs
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