I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
