if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
