well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
