Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
