god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
