Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
