please come you make the beer taste better
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
