A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
