Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
