4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
