Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
