I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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