Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
