Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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