i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
