Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
