Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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