I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
