You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize