i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
operation have a gay friend backfired
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
