I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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