If that was your dad, he is hot
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize