these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
