...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize