im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
