i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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