thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
