apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
