There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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