C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
