You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
