Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
