Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
