Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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