Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
