i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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