dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
