is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
