New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we're so committed to being not committed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize