I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
