I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
