Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
