we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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