I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
