covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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