Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
