I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i need some magic done to my vagina
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
