if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I understand Curling. That high.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
